


Missing

by angel_authoress



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bad Wolf, Bad Wolf Rose Tyler, Because they needed to talk about this, F/M, Mentions of Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Takes place between New Earth and Tooth and Claw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7108558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_authoress/pseuds/angel_authoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose asks the Doctor what took place during their final moments at Satellite 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Doctor Who fanfic I've ever posted on here. ^^
> 
> I have so many fanfics that I need to update, I apologize for not getting to them sooner. 
> 
> Anyway, hopefully you'll enjoy this.

It had been bothering her ever since she first started traveling with this incarnation of the Doctor. She tried not to let it affect her, it didn't seem like that big of a deal, but the Doctor’s reluctance to inform her worried her, and it made her think that perhaps something happened that the Doctor didn’t want her to know. She can’t fathom why the Doctor would keep secrets; he was usually the first to tell her anything she wanted to know. The pleasure he got from watching someone’s face light up with interest at his explanations was too great for him to resist. He greatly valued his intelligence ( _superior_ intelligence, as he just _loved_ to point out every now and then), and it was indeed his greatest weapon.

The Doctor would tell Rose anything she wanted to know, and she knew that. He could ramble on about anything- any time period, black holes, paradoxes, alternate universes- the possibilities were endless. But now that she thought about it, there _had_ been more than one occasion where the Doctor had decided against informing her of something. Of course, it was most likely for her benefit, and better if she _didn’t_ know. But _this…_ this was about not only him, but her as well. It concerned her, and a part of her felt like she had the right to know.

It felt as though a part of her memory had been stolen. It was like a missing puzzle piece; a fuzzy feeling where a memory should be. It was a strange feeling. She remembered the pain of watching her beloved leather jacket Doctor inform her of his grim fate. She remembered screaming and begging the TARDIS to take her back. She remembered finding the strength within her to find her way back to the Doctor, and with the help of Mickey and her mother, she did. She remembered feeling the warmth of the TARDIS flow into her, and then, nothing.

Then, she awakened on the floor of the TARDIS, and spent her final moments with the first Doctor she loved.

She didn’t like that there was a missing piece; it made her feel like she was incomplete.

That was what led her here, to confront the Doctor in his _room_ of all places. She had been heading in the direction of the console room, so she wasn’t quite sure how she ended up here. The TARDIS usually made sure to keep the Doctor’s room hidden away from her, so it was rather peculiar for her to have ended up here. Surely the ship would have prevented that…

Should she even knock? The Doctor might not be too pleased to find her outside of his room, and might suspect that she had been snooping around. She then shook her head; no, the Doctor wasn’t like that. He would surely understand if she just explained, right?

Drawing in a deep breath, Rose raised her tightly clenched fist and knocked on the door. She heard some shuffling from inside, and within the next few seconds the door suddenly opened, revealing a rather underdressed Doctor. His hair was tousled (as it usually was, but it was exceptionally messy this time), and he was dressed… _casually._ He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants rather than his usual pinstriped brown suit. His hair was wet too, like he had just gotten out of the shower.

There was something about seeing him this way that was oddly charming.

He definitely did look rather surprised to see her. He didn’t speak, but stared at her instead, as if expecting some sort of explanation.

Rose suddenly remembered how to speak and searched for her words. “Oh, um… sorry if I interrupted anything… is this a bad time?”

“No, not at all!” the Doctor answered, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. “It’s just, well… I don’t really know how you got here.”

Rose looks away, shrugging, looking at anything but his eyes. “I don’t either… I was looking for you, but I was heading towards the console room. I’m sure I was going in the right direction, yet somehow I ended up here.”

The Doctor suddenly heaved a heavy sigh. “Must have been the TARDIS meddling again. We had a talk about this; I don’t know why she insists on intervening.” He sighs again and steps to the side, gesturing to the inside of his room. “Well, I suppose it’s about time I showed you my room. C’mon in.”

Rose slowly walks in, and she has to admit- she’s surprised at how ordinary it looks. He was an alien after all, and he had a ship that could do the near impossible. She figured his room would be more alien-like, or in the very least more extravagant. It was so simple, and it baffled her, because the Doctor was not a simple man. The room _was_ exceptionally spacious though. There was a large bed across the room against the wall. There were several paintings hung around the room, some of them with Gallifreyan writing on them. Across from the bed there was a bookcase, and a rather large one at that.

“I’ve read all of them.” he says, noticing her eyes lingering on the books. “The TARDIS tries to supply me with new ones after I’ve finished all of them. But she and I tend to have different tastes when it comes to good books.” Both he and Rose hear the ship make what sounded like an irritated huff.

Despite the simplicity of the room, it was beautiful.

“I always thought your room would be more… alien. But it looks so… normal.” Rose comments idly.

The Doctor nods. “I’ve always taken a liking to human things- human foods, human customs, and yes- human bedrooms.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Rose catches his face shift into a much more serious expression.

“Now, surely you didn’t come here to discuss my bedroom. What did you want to find me for? Did you need something? Oh, or is the TARDIS messing with you again? I’ve _told her-“_

“No, Doctor, it’s not that. It’s… it’s about me. Well… us. Sort of.”

The Doctor’s expression changes again, although this time, Rose can’t read him. Rose takes another deep breath. It was now or never, after all. If she didn’t act now, she didn’t think she could find the courage to try to ask him again. “This is going to sound odd, but… I think part of my memory is missing.”

The Doctor’s eyes go wide in panic. “What?! Your memory?! But who could’ve… when did you… Rose, tell me everything, tell me what you remember!” He was in front of her in an instant, his hands gently cupping her face, his eyes frantically scanning her.

“Doctor, relax, I’m okay. It’s not really a big deal, at least, I don’t think it is.”

“Rose, if you think that part of your _memory_ is _missing,_ then it _is_ a big deal. That means that someone could have tampered with your memory at some point, and when I find them I _swear-“_

“Doctor!”

Rose gently grabbed the Doctor’s wrists, slowly removing them. As they fell back to his sides, her hands then came up to hold his face. Her touch soothed him, and they both knew it. Her thumbs gently rubbed small circles around his cheeks. She watched as his eyes gently closed, breathing out a soft sigh as he leaned into her touch.

“It’s okay. We should just try to think about this for a minute, alright?”

Rose removes her hands from his face. The Doctor nods, and he suddenly feels a wave of shame wash over him for briefly losing his temper in front of her.

“Alright, Rose, tell me where you were, tell me everything you remember.” He begins pacing anxiously.

“Well, it was… you looked like you did when we first met. It was on Satellite 5, when you were facing the Daleks. You… you sent me home in the TARDIS. And then I… I looked into the heart of the TARDIS, and it sent me back to you. But that’s all I remember. Nothing after that. Afterwards I woke up in the TARDIS. I don’t remember anything that happened during that time.” She pauses to look up at the Doctor, who suddenly looked like he was in pain. Agonizing pain, at that. “And I know… I know that you know what happened to me. And you don’t want me to know for some reason, and I just… I feel like I should know. I don’t understand why you won’t tell me.”

The Doctor swallows nervously. He loathed the thought of lying to her, not when she's been so truthful to him. “Nothing really happened. I absorbed the time vortex from you, and you were unconscious. That’s why you don’t remember. That’s all.”

She sighs. “Doctor, don’t lie to me, please.”

Damn, she could read him better than he thought.

“Rose, please, it’s not-“

“It’s a part of my life that’s _gone._ I have a right to know. And-“ Rose quickly closes her mouth, the words she had planned getting caught in her throat.

“And what?” the Doctor queried.

Quietly, Rose murmured “It’s one of the last memories I had with you before you changed.”

She could see his heart nearly breaking before her eyes, and the same ache resonated in her chest. A part of her would always miss that Doctor, she knew that. But the Doctor was still her Doctor, no matter his appearance. When the Doctor changed, she very clearly recalled telling him that she wanted her old Doctor back. Now, only now, she realized how badly those words must have hurt him.

“So…” he finally muttered, avoiding direct eye contact. “You still… want me to change back, then?”

“No!” Rose cried suddenly. “No, I mean… you’re the _Doctor,_ no matter what you look like… you’ll always be the Doctor, even if you don’t look the same as you used to. But… those days I spent with you then, they’re memories that I don’t want to lose. I never want to forget any of our adventures together. _That’s_ why this is so important to me, Doctor. So please… tell me what happened.”

The Doctor meets her eyes for a brief moment. It was a fleeting look, but in his eyes she could see the pain the conversation seemed to bring up, and a part of her regretted ever asking.

“Back at Satellite 5, when we were facing the Daleks, I knew my time was almost up, and I knew that it would be a dangerous fight. I also knew that you wouldn’t leave me, at least, not willingly. So I had to trick you in order to keep you safe. I had the TARDIS take you home.” He starts pacing again; the memory bringing back things that he had been trying to forget. “And the Delta Wave… I didn’t have the courage to use it. To kill all of the humans for the sake of wiping out the Daleks… I just couldn’t. It would make me even worse than them. I couldn’t commit another genocide like that. I was ready to let them kill me, since I knew you were safe. But then… then the TARDIS came back. The doors opened and… there you were.” A wistful expression forms on his face. Rose watches with wonder as his expression changes. His deep amber eyes seemed distant, but there was a familiar warmth in them, a warmth that had been present even in her leather jacket Doctor.

“Oh, Rose Tyler, in that moment, you were more beautiful than I ever thought possible.” He says before grinning sheepishly, watching amusedly as her cheeks take on a bright shade of crimson.

“Of course, that was before I realized what had happened to you. Now if you remember, there was a message that we kept seeing and hearing, two words that followed us everywhere we went.”

Rose’s eyes go wide, and simultaneously, they murmur “Bad Wolf.”

The room falls silent, the tension growing thicker by the second. Even the mere mention of “Bad Wolf” seemed to make the atmosphere heavier.

“I remember.” Rose finally says, her voice low. “I would see it or hear it sometimes, but I didn’t think anything of it. It was strange, but I had no idea what it meant. When we were in Cardiff and met Gwyneth, she saw the future, she said something about the big bad wolf. And then again, at Satellite 5, I saw it, Bad Wolf Corporation.”

When the Doctor speaks again, he’s quieter. “Right, well… Bad Wolf was you, Rose. Those words were a message that you had sent to yourself… words meant to guide you back to me. To… to protect me.” A large smile broke out across his face. “Those Daleks were terrified of you, you know. You got rid of them like it was nothing! Rose, you became a time _goddess_ … to save me! _Me,_ of all people!” A short, dry laugh escapes him. “But even so, you… there’s no way you could have handled all of that. No human is capable of maintaining that power. So I had to take it from you, and I did it the best way I knew how.”

“And… and what way is that?”

The Doctor looks at her with an almost smug expression, but small signs of embarrassment were still present on his face. “Well… I _might have…”_

“Yeah, go on…” Rose urged, her suspicion rising.

The Doctor looks at her meekly. “I might have… maybe… _kissedyoutoabsorbthetimevortex.”_

Rose quirks a brow, leaning in closer to hear him better. “I’m sorry, _what?_ ”

The Doctor’s face flushes before muttering a strained “I… _kissed you…_ to absorb the Time Vortex.”

Rose’s eyes go wide. “Are you _serious?!_ ” she shouts. The Doctor recoils; he hadn’t quite been expecting _that_ reaction.

“Well, I know I didn’t really have your permission, but it was a heat of the moment sort of thing, and I sort of acted without realizing it in order to save you, and well, one thing lead to another and-“

“No, I didn’t mean that! It’s just that… we had our first kiss and I don’t even _remember_ it!”

The Doctor blanches. _“That’s_ your issue with this?”

“Of course!” Rose replies. “I mean, I should be able to remember the first time we kissed! I mean, that’s kind of important, don’t you think?”

“Well yes, I suppose, but-“

Much to the Doctor’s amusement, she begins pacing around the room. “And I mean, I should be able to remember that, yeah? I’ve been wanting to do that since like, 1896 in Cardiff, but… to think that it actually happened and I _don’t remember..!”_

Grinning mischievously, the Doctor stalked towards her, an almost predatory gleam in his eye. “Well then, Rose Tyler… I may not be able to jog your memory, but I can provide you with… an _idea_ of what it was like.”

Catching on to his meaning, Rose playfully grins back. “Oh, can you?”

“Mmhm.” He says before he’s standing merely inches from her. “Would that be alright with you, Miss Tyler?”

Rose only nods, and he takes that as her permission. While one hand remained around her waist, the other slid up her arm to her face, cupping her cheek. His lips suddenly capture hers, and Rose feels like she’s falling and flying at the same time, living and dying, freezing and burning. There aren’t any words to describe the feeling; the feeling of bliss and pure ecstasy all at the same time.

It wasn’t the first time they had ever kissed; Rose remembered the kiss they shared on New Earth. Although she hadn’t been in control of her body at the time, she could still feel it. She could recall the look of pleasant shock that had crossed the Doctor’s face when she (or rather, _Cassandra)_ separated from him. A part of her still loathed the woman for using _her_ body to snog the Doctor. However, this kiss was nothing like the snog that Cassandra had given the Doctor. It was gentle and soft, appropriate for their first proper kiss. A part of her wondered if this was what it felt like when they kissed the first time on Satellite 5.

All too soon it ended. The Doctor looked at her almost nervously, as if he was worried that he had messed up or that she didn’t like it. Rose grinned almost dumbly at him.

She was sure to show him just how much she liked it.


End file.
